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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Competitiveness

Competitiveness

So, we will jump around a little bit in age because C represents something with these twin boys that has become an obsession in life Competitiveness.

I didn't have much experience with twins under any circumstances prior to having my twins.  I had a couple of friends when I was younger that were twins but that was it and nothing significant sticks out about them other than just being just like us normal and calm.  The twins that I have had the chance to observe like at the zoo or the store or places families go nothing really jumped out at me to think anything out of the ordinary other than they were twins.  I even encountered a couple of sets of triplets and they seemed to be in unison and no outward crazy behavior to report.

I also heard all of these stories about how close twins are, they think the same, finish each others sentences, they feel what the other is feeling, and in some cases mirror each other.  I think that is fascinating and lovely.  How beautiful that would be to have a relationship like that with your sibling or how special it is if you are a twin. 

Not my twins.  I was NOT given the set of calm well behaved twins that think together or work together or finish each others sentences.  I was blessed with the two most testosterone filled boys and they are as competitive as they can be.

 It reared its crazy  head around age 3 when I observed the first race down the hallway which their faces looked as if their lives depended on the win.  The one that didn't win insisted to do it again until it was even and never would they stop if one was ahead. 

The compete who is going to be with me, who dresses first, who gets the most baskets, who finishes dinner first, who gets more points on the Wii  dancing games, who's going to get in the car first and sit behind me.  It just doesn't stop and it can be really hard to manage. On one hand you want your kids to at least feel confident to be a little competitive and persevere and not be intimidated by anything but this type of competition that goes on between them is beyond.  I don't know where it comes from because we always have made sure to make it an even playing field and show our love equally to both and try to make them show love to each other.  Even that is a competition. 

The one twin thing they do have is the triangle affect.  They can be mad at each other and call each other to task but if they are bad towards each other and we get on the bad one for being bad to the victim then victim gets mad at us for being mad at the bad one and then we get mad at the victim and the bad one gets mad at us for getting mad at the victim.  Only they can be mad at each other or the other will step in to protect.  By the end of that it is exhausting but it gives me that glimmer of hope that in the end that is how they will end up.  Always having each others back and showing the love they have for each other to each other. 

However, as soon as the drama is over they are rolling around like chipmunks wrestling, crying, tattle telling, and competing.  There is never a dull moment and never any rest for the wicked.
 

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